Kristi Speaks

Like it or not………..

Every wonder……

what it feels like to have a defibrillator go off on your chest?  Just ask my mom.  She’s had it happen from the inside out.  Her defective pacemaker shocked her THREE times.  THREE FUCKIN’ TIMES before the doctors decided to turn it off. 

Let me repeat that.

My poor mother had a defibrillator go off from inside her chest THREE times in 24 hours. Apparently once wasn’t good enough for the doctors.  Maybe they didn’t really believe her.  I don’t know.  But they’re lucky she’s still alive.

And going strong.  Waiting to get her new pacemaker tomorrow.

Her strength amazes me.


July 30, 2008 Posted by | Family | 1 Comment


Today I turn 30.

10 years ago the thought of 30 scared the hell out of me.  Then again, so did the thought of settling down or going more than a day without a beer.  10 years ago I never saw myself marrying or having children.  All I saw was a big career and lots of partying.

But as I sit here with my arm around my big girl and my hand on my unborn child, 30 seems just right. 

This morning I woke up to a kiss and a “happy birthday” from the most wonderful man in the world.  He got up with our daughter so that I could sleep a little longer.  A little later I was awoken again by the squeels of my daughter who was just as excited about giving me a birthday card as seeing Santa Claus. 

I have a beautiful, healthy child, and another on the way.  A sweet and loving husband.  A safe and comfortable home.  A new and promising business. 

I’m looking forward to spending the day at the track with my husband.  To welcoming our little baby into the world.  To celebrating my 5 year wedding annivesary (and 10th and 20th and 50th).  To enjoying what I do for a living.  And to not always wishing I could be home with my kids. 

Today, 30 seems just like the beginning.

And I am so thankful.

July 26, 2008 Posted by | Nonsense | 2 Comments

Life is Good.

I got my first client.

I have a birthday coming up this weekend. (That deserves it’s own post.)

I just found a parking spot in all day parking, so I don’t have to move my car 3 times today in the 2 hour parking lot.

AND……….get this………..AND…………….I got my bonus. Oh yeah, the witch surprised me today and gave me what she should have 2 months ago. I have officially won that battle!

The universe loves me.

July 24, 2008 Posted by | Nonsense | 1 Comment

It’s official.

Carrara Accounting Solutions is officially in business. I met with my first client last night!!


July 23, 2008 Posted by | Work | 4 Comments

Carrara Accounting Solutions

So I’m going for it. Carrara Accounting Solutions will be up and running shortly. With any luck I’ll have my first client by the end of the week and my days here with the devil will be numbered!

I need some help though.

I need your opinion on a logo. Click here and tell me what you think.


What about a domain name?  Any ideas.  My first choices or are taken of course.  What about,,  Is it too cheesy to add the number?  It seem everything I want is taken.

l also need recommendations for a good laptop.  What make, model, specks?  Am I going to hate it if it has Vista on it?  Where do you get good pricing?

So come on people, help me out. You too, lurkers.

July 16, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

OK people…….

Does this look like a beer belly to you?

I’ve heard no less than 6 times in the last week “I didn’t even know you we’re pregnant.” WTF is that supposed to mean? You just thought I was just getting fat?

July 15, 2008 Posted by | Nonsense | 1 Comment

Much better today, thanks

So I’m much better today, thanks for asking.  And the cupcake wasn’t really that good.

I’ve decided I’m going to try to post more often.   I know you’re all excited.  I’m going to try to capture all of those posts that I let slip through the cracks, because I was either too lazy or too busy to write them down.  Don’t you all feel better now?

I think all of my positive thinking is starting to pay off.   All of the energy I’ve put out into the Universe (yeah, I’ve been reading The Secret) is coming back to me.  I think I posted on my missing blog that I was toying with the idea of starting my own accounting business.  Having no family around makes having kids in daycare very difficult, in fact impossible at times.  Especially when you work for the devil.  One of us needs to have a flexible job, and quite frankly I want to be with my kids more.  I want to be able to get them off the bus, when that time comes.  After my go-round with the devil I’ve decided I’m going to go for it.    So I’ve been working on a business plan and drafting a webpage.  And I may potentially have a client already.  Well, maybe……….hopefully.  I’ll know more after tomorrow.

Cross your fingers for me.

July 10, 2008 Posted by | Nonsense | 2 Comments


So I’m having a down day. Poor me.

I was going to pester all of you lurkers into posting, just to make me feel better, but then I found a cupcake shop across the street. All they sell are cupcakes. Chocolate with raspberry frosting for me.

Who needs friends when you have cupcakes?

July 8, 2008 Posted by | Nonsense | 2 Comments


So I’ve reached the point in my pregnancy where I’m pretty much useless. I’m fat and tired and in pain, and if I do more than walk my fat ass to the bathroom I start having contractions. Not the “oh shit babies coming” contractions, more like the annoying “that fucking hurts, sit your ass down before baby comes”, contractions.

These contractions are starting to create a certain anxiety. “Holy shit this baby has to come out and it’s going to fucking hurt, again. What the hell was I thinking?”

Did I tell you I talked to my doctor about permanent birth control options? Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh, this is definitely our last child!

July 7, 2008 Posted by | Family | Leave a comment

Head to Head with the Devil

So a day and a half after I sent that e-mail she decided it was time to sit down with me. Oh it was on. In my mind I have nothing to lose. Either she fires me, or she doesn’t. Quite frankly, I’d rather she fire me, and then I could sit home my last 2 months of pregnancy and still collect a check. But I knew that wasn’t going to happen. We both know that she needs me more than I need her.

**Here’s a little snippet of information that I haven’t previously shared. Donna had a business manager work for her for 20 years. The woman tried to retire for 3 years. Every time a replacement didn’t work out, she would come back and fill in. Well guess what? This woman is moving to Georgia. No more back up plan. I’m all she has. Mwhaaaa, hahaha, hahahah!!!**

So we sat down face to face. Have you ever looked the devil in the eye? I have.  It’s not as scary as you may think.

At first she was speechless. She couldn’t fathom how I could possibly think it was appropriate for me to send such an e-mail. “Devil, you felt the need to be frank with me, I would think you’d expect the same from me.” She went on to tell me that I was making all of the decisions about my maternity leave without consulting her and she would decide what works for her. She didn’t know if it would work for her to have me in the office only part time. That when I’m ready to come back to work, let her know and we’d discuss it. So I said, “I guess I’m not clear, do I have a job after this baby is born?” Of course she didn’t mean anything like that. Whatever, I know what she’s thinking. If the temp works out, she won’t need me, if she doesn’t, she will. Unfortunately for the devil, we all KNOW that the temp won’t work out. The poor soul will be lucky to make it a month.

My favorite part of the whole conversation:

Devil: “Kristi, maybe you should think twice before you speak what’s on your mind.”

Kristi: “Devil, maybe you should do the same.”

BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God that was satisfying.

She was very hard the first 10 minutes and we butted heads hard. And then she backed down. She hadn’t meant to offend me, she was sorry if she had. She didn’t think pregnancy was a sickness. She even used the word discrimination in there. So essentially she spent the rest of the meeting covering her ass.

The strange part of it all, the part that totally blows my f’in mind, is that she actually looked a little hurt. She thought we had a great relationship and she feels “very close to me personally.” This is how she treats people she “likes”. She just doesn’t get it. I honestly feel sorry for the woman.

We left the meeting on “good” terms. We both agreed that there had been some “miscommunications”. I had already made the decision that I wasn’t going to come back to work for her, unless of course, the price is right. So overall I got to get it all off my chest and it won’t be a hostile work environment for the next 2 months. God only know what she thinks she accomplished. If I look right now I’ll probably find my job posted on the internet!

So that’s my story. I’ll keep you all posted.

July 3, 2008 Posted by | Work | 1 Comment